STAR WARS: Revenge of the Empire Striking Back
by BunnyGrrl
Summary: What with all the Star Wars hype going on, I was itching to write a crossover. It's also an SI- but what decent crossover isn't anymore, eh? READ!


(Before we start, know this: I don't know my Star Wars terminology. All the characters used here-on either belong to me, they're real people, or they belong to some other genius. Get it? Got it? Good. DON'T SUE ME.)  
  
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... not really... okay, so it's just a cardboard box in my basement...  
  
STAR WARS  
  
Revenge of the Empire Striking Back  
  
A BunnyGrrl Production  
  
The Peace Treaty long sought for by the Rebels and the Empire is non- existent. War is being viciously waged by big flying metal things with lasers and robots in space. The Emperor demands his life time supply of marshmallow peeps before he unleashes his terrifying death machine, THE DEATH MONKEY. The Jedi Council has sent their ingenious Jedi Masters to investigate THE DEATH MONKEY and destroy it, thus eliminating any threat it may pose against the rebellion.  
  
Now that I have unveiled my INGENIOUS plot to the fullest, we find our heroes, the Jedi Masters, in council with the... the... Council.  
  
---  
  
"... you will penetrate the security code, and use your superior stealth and ingenuity to sneak aboard the Emperor's ship, and detonate a large explosive into the computer core of The Death Monkey."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Do you think you can handle that?"  
  
"Oh, sure we can, Master Horvitz."  
  
"I'm just making sure." the old Jedi slowly said, raising an eyebrow to his companion Yoga the Elf. "Jedi Crissy, the LAST time we sent you and your team out on a mission, you got Jedi Jacqueline frozen in carbonate slumber!"  
  
The Council, composed of every sort of life form you could imagine, all jerked their thumbs at a large silver tomb, with an imprint of the once walking, talking Jedi Spy Jacqueline. Her face was forever contorted into a disturbing frozen expression- eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide open in a scream that still echoed from the land of the dead. Sure, they all knew she was long dead, but they kept her as a reminder of the incompetence of psychos in large groups.  
  
Smiling nervously, Crissy rubbed the back of her neck, just below the tight bun her dark brown hair was tied into. "Well! If she hadn't insisted on freeing Princess Jade on her own, Jakawa wouldn't have caught her, now would he?"  
  
The Council muttered to one another as Crissy's companions- Jedi Masters Vincent (Ent), Alex, and Amy- all cringed. Crissy had a problem with letting her mouth run at the most inopportune moments. Council Member Aximilli stood at his full height, and let his scorpion like tail crack the air. Silence! he cried out with thought-speech, a telepathic form of talking, as he possessed no mouth. We all decided that these four were the best we could possibly scrap up, so we should trust in their connection with The Force! he sent cold gazes at his fellow Council members. With the combined appearances of a deer, human, and scorpion, the blue andalite was rather intimidating, even in his old age. His hooves were dulled, and he was blind in one of the eyes balanced on top of two hornlike stalks protruding out of his head; but The Force flowed through his veins like the moltov cocktail he'd just consumed a matter of minutes ago. (if you don't get the joke, then please tap someone, preferably russian, on the shoulder and ask)  
  
"Aximilli is right!" Yoga gurgled. He placed a small finger on his temple, and closed his bright green eyes. "Strong is The Force with them. Courage of the heart they possess. Jacqueline was a fool! She had no faith in friends, no." he opened his eyes, and stared deep into each of the Jedi Companions eyes. "The Not So Light side was biting at her heels. Jealousy of your powers, she had. Faith in each other, YOU must have."  
  
Grinning toothily, Vincent nodded. In truth, he'd only JUST met Amy and Alex, as they were old partners of his friend Crissy he knew from the academy. The Council was getting old, and their memories weren't very good. Yet they were lovable senile old coots. Vincent had always been "lone wolf" when it came to mission. But, if Princess Jade was involved, like she always was with situations like this... his smile turned into a sly look of eager anticipation, and his eyes glazed over slightly. Despite his brains' attempt to stop this, a loud purr erupted from his grinning mouth. Damn! That Princess Jade was a FOX!  
  
"Uh... Ent? ENT?!"  
  
"Purr- Eh? What? WHO?! I WAS NOT HAVING WILD FANTASIES ABOUT PRINCESS JADE!! HOW RUDE OF YOU TO THINK THAT, YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEYS!! POOOOH!!"  
  
There was along pause as every eye in the room stared in silence at the fuming Vincent. Master richard Horvitz, first class Jedi Master, or whatever the hell Council Members have to be, rose from his seat and walked up to Vincent, looking him square in the eye. "Nobody SAID you were."  
  
"Oh... they didn't? Heh... well... I-I-"  
  
"Is there more than ONE reason you volunteered to go on this mission?"  
  
WHAT?! Aximilli screeched, and turned to Yoga. You told me they were CHOSEN out of HUNDREDS of eager Jedi-  
  
"Of course not!" Ent cried, laughing heartily. "Do you mean to suggest that Princess Jade is ACTUALLY my girlfriend, and that I'm ACTUALLY only doing this to make her think I'm brave and to impress her? Huh? Is that what you're trying to imply? IS IT?! HUH?!! TELL ME, YOU WISE ASS COUNCIL PERSON!!! AHHHH!!"  
  
By this time, Vincent had Richard by the shoulders and was shaking him like a leaf on a tree in October. When he finally stopped, Vincent had a deranged look on his face, and Cristin along with the rest of the people in the small meeting room overlooking a giant cloud city, looked at Vincent as if he'd just done something unholy and wrong- like punching the Pope, or whatever. You just don't grab a member of the high Jedi Council, unless you wanted the same fate as poor, unfortunate Jacqueline. Forever frozen. Forever DEAD. Never to eat another taco, never to see another sunset. NEVER TO LOVE!! Just... dead. DEAD. In the blink of and eye- DEAD.  
  
Pausing for a bit so the narrator could gather her composure, Richard continued. "Whatever your excuse, the galaxy needs you and your friends. So get out of here before I lose my temper." The four Jedi nervously bowed and sprinted out of the room. Alex slammed into the clear glass door in her hurry, so Ent and Crissy ended up carrying her unconscious body to the docking bay, Amy running ahead nervously chewing her nails.  
  
"May The Force be with you." Richard muttered, then waited until the four were out of ear shot. "We're all dead, you know."  
  
The Council nodded slowly, some with bitter tears running down their cheeks.  
  
---  
  
"Great job, Ent! You almost got us KILLED." Amy cried once they were in their ship- the Millennium Swallow. It was modeled after a very popular model, made famous by the best damn pilot to ever live- Ham Sancho. They were on their way to the Sweran galaxy, where the Emperor's armada was currently located.  
  
"I did no such thing." Ent said defensively. "NO SUCH THING!"  
  
"Oh, yeah right. You nearly bit that Council members head off!" Amy retorted, her eyes narrowing dangerously.  
  
Growling to himself and glaring out into deep space, Ent folded his arms across his chest and pouted. The low hum of an airlock announced Cristin's arrival to the small cockpit buzzing with electronics. She immediately reached for Ent's neck, and proceeded to strangle him. His eyes bulged, and he weakly scratched at her claw like hands which, surprisingly, had a robot like grip. Amy just watched, eyes wide, playing with the sleeve of her brown cloak.  
  
"ARE YOU MAD?!" Crissy raged, and slammed his head into the back of the seat, releasing him. A woman with PMS is not one to meddle with. "What's your deal with the princess, huh?!" she flopped into her pilots' seat, still glaring at him like a hungry jungle cat.  
  
Massaging his red neck, Ent choked out, "Okay. So we have this... THING... going on." he coughed, pounding his chest with a balled up fist.  
  
"Well, we figured that much." Amy muttered, typing commands into the computer. "Transmission coming through. Ally. It's an Irken cruiser." Amy looked at Cristin in question. "Should we take it?"  
  
Giving Amy a curt nod, the image of a tiny Irken officer appeared on the console's giant screen that hovered over the ships controls. It was your typical "alien"- gigantic green head with jelly-like magenta bug-eyes. He was wearing standard uniform: striped tunic with black leggings, black gloves on twig arms covered in pink striped fabric. He also had a small grey and red utility pack on his back.  
  
"Greetings, officer." Cristin said, standing as is customary when speaking with Irkens. Sitting while talking is a sign of disrespect with this particular, ego manic race.  
  
"What are you Jedi doing in our air space?" the Irken questioned with and authoritive tone. He squinted one of his glimmering eyes, "You've not been given clearance from Our Tallest. You're not on file."  
  
Casting a glance at her two companions, Cristin was ready to explain their presence when Alex burst through the hatch- head bandaged, stained with patches of crimson blood. She'd hit the glass door hard enough to crack it, and break the skin.  
  
"THE CLEARANCE I POSSESS! IT IS IN MY POSSESSION!" she cried, grabbing the controls and hitting the engine thrust. "YIPPEE KIYAA, MOTHA FUCKER! YEEHAW!" she slammed her palm onto the console, cutting off the line of communications with the Irken ship. The Millennium Swallow blasted through the armada, leaving the stunned but still quite alert Irken fighter pilots in their wake of madness. A pod of fighters launched after the ship, and was almost immediately on the Swallow's tail, lasers burning.  
  
"YOU'RE ALL INSANE!" Cristin cried, climbing to her feet. The sudden acceleration had sent her flying into the back of the cockpit. Amy, Ent, and Alex were all safely seated, so they were unaffected. Well, other than Amy and Ent who both stared dumbfounded at Alex, who was breathing heavily, foam dripping from her mouth. "That was FRIENDLY conflict!" Cristin continued, rubbing her shoulder. "We could have gotten by if we told them Master Yoda sent us. Everyone KNOWS they fear that sadistic little midget, but noooo..."  
  
"Uh... you guys?" Amy said fearfully, eyes set on the radar. "I don't think those little egomaniacs are too happy. There are fighters everywhere!"  
  
WHAT will happen?  
  
WHO is the evil Emperor?  
  
WHY won't Ent share his secrets about Princess Jade?  
  
Find out all that and more in the next chapter of REVENGE OF THE EMPIRE STRIKING BACK  
  
I told you I'd get you back, Ent. I NEVER go back on my word. =^.^= 


End file.
